Fighting With Your Best Friend? Don't Do This

Be it your housemate, your kid, your husband/wife or closest friend, it's always annoying to have somebody near to you be in a sour mood. When it happens, most people tend to try one of these things which just make things worse.

Ask them about it

There are certainly times when people need to vent. If someone seems sad, ask them what is wrong. They might want somebody to listen to them. But, allowing someone to indulge in their bad mood only makes it worse and if you ask them if they'd like to talk about it, that's exactly what you're doing. They could speak to you viscously if you so much as have an opinion or what they share with you. Don't ask them about it. Let them throw their silent fit. They will feel silly later when they realize they were stomping around, slamming drawers and you just had to endure it. My friend who teaches little kids how to sing deals with moody little kids all the time. No matter how hard they slam the piano keys, she doesn't give in and ask what's wrong. She knows it will turn into a full-blown tantrum. Little did she know going into her profession that being a voice coach meant doubling as a child psychologist!

Try to fix it

When someone is in a bad mood, they are not in fixing mode. They want to be angry and you trying to fix their problems irritates them because solutions take them further away from being what they want to be, which is angry. If you try to offer up solutions, they will come up with reasons why your solutions won't work. If they are really in a bad mood they might even start telling you you're an idiot or in some way make you feel dumb for even suggesting your solutions.

Joke about it

If you're the type that has a sense of humor about everything, you may find yourself wanting to make jokes to get someone out of their bad mood. You might even want to pick at them a little to get them to laugh at themselves. This rarely works. They will feel you are patronizing them and that you don't take their emotions seriously, nor do you think their problems are significant.

The best thing to do when someone is in a bad mood really is to let them be. You may need to endure some cold words from them, some door slamming, some cold looks. However, if you just reaming quiet and put up with it, they will most likely feel guilty and ashamed later when they realize what a baby they were acting like and in the end, they'll be paying you an apology. But, if you try to interfere in any way, you'll pay the price. A bad mood is a like a fast train with lots of momentum. You have to allow it to live itself out.

Vera Esther writes about topics in healthy living, relationships and travel. Her articles have appeared in dozens of publications and titels have ranged from "Is your date a sex addict?" to "Let your laptop teach you to sing" (a review of the site )

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